In The Blink Of An Eye

That is a saying that my mom used often.  And all these years later it is the first thing that came to mind a week and a half ago when life as Brad knew it changed in the BLINK OF AN EYE. 
It all started with the phone call from Kentucky. "Hello Sister Jackman, this is Elder Kelsch and I am serving with your son in Kentucky....well there has been a little accident and I believe that his ankle is dislocated.  Now don't worry too much Sister Jackman, they may be able to just pop that baby right back into place and he will be as good as new.  I will keep you posted." 
Well... the next phone call 15 minutes later proved to be the more disturbing conversation.  Elder Kelsch was not as composed, as he had to share with the "crazy with worry  mom," that young Elder Jackman would be needing surgery.  A few minor details being left out of the first conversation, such as "the bone is kinda out of the skin Sister Jackman" and "Elder Jackman's foot is at an awfully disturbing angle Sister Jackman" 
I must say that I was feeling sorry for Elder Kelsch, as he was the one carrying out the assignment of calling Brad's mom.  I do take a little umbrage at the thought of being the crazy, freak out mom though.  I like to think that I keep all of my "Freak Out" deep inside.  I used to tell my kids that if I freak out worse than other  mothers,  well I must just love them more.  That worked for a very long time I am telling you.  However those children decided to grow up and now it is a cross I bear when I am placed in a possible Freak Out situation.
With morophine pumping through his very injured system Elder Jackman was comfortable and feeling positive about his situation.  Until....there was the talk of "Putting Him Out" to put his foot back into it's natural place on his leg.  He had been an exceptional patient up to that point, and so not really knowing how
"Re-setting" the foot was going to affect his current state of comfort, he went as a willing lamb.   The anesthetic cocktail put him right to sleep, until that one lightening quick motion that caused Elder Jackman to re-visit that excrutiating pain that landed him on this gurney to begin with.  He cannot be held responsible for the "unseemly noun" that escaped his mouth just as his foot found its natural home at the end of his leg.
Still feeling somewhat in control Elder J reported to his dad that everything was just fine.  And then he was given the news of the surgery. He inquired as to when the surgery would be, and he was surprised when the doctor said, "Well right now seems like the best time to me."  I suppose when the bone has come through your skin the word emergency seems to take on a whole new meaning.  And so sound asleep and hoping that he was in very good hands, he took the ride on the gurney into the O.R.  Always good to have Heavenly Father as your wingman when you are a missionary.  I as a mother am profoundly grateful for who assisted that surgeon in the Operating Room.  Faith is gift that just keeps on giving.  Especially when you are a Missionary Mom.
Elder Jackman came through the surgery like a rockstar.  And true to form, he came out of the anesthesia with a few embarrassing moments.  I do believe that he hit on a couple of nurses, as the first thing that he told his mom on the phone was. "I am really hurting, but my nurse is Hot."  Trouble shooting is the name of the game for any mother, and so in realizing that he was doing fine, she encouraged Brad to hand the phone off to his very responsible friend Elder Kelsch.  "Please just put your hand right over young Brad's mouth when he goes to hit on the nurses would you Elder Kelsch.  That will save both of you a lot of embarrassment tomorrow."  "Well Sister Jackman he is quite a flirt isn't he?"  To which I responded, "Oh, it comes just like breathing air to him." 
In recounting the day of surgery with Elder Jackman the following day, I just had to share his post operative thoughts with him.  And I must say that I laughed so hard when he said, "No.. I didn't did I?"  Some things will always be a constant in our lives and I am afraid that Brad will always want to flirt with the nurses, after any surgery.  Even when he is 90.  He thanked me for the hand over the mouth advice to Elder Kelsch, but said that apparently no one put their hand over his mouth in the ER when he shouted *(%$###%.  He wasn't aware of that little indiscretion until Elder Kelsch so eloquently brought it to his attention by saying "So what is this I hear about you swearing in the ER Elder Jackmn?"  Desperate times call for desperate measures I am thinking.
Speaking to the surgeon was my top priority once I knew that Brad was alright.  And that is a conversation I shall not soon forget.  Mind you this whole experience for me is taking place via cell phone.  No one will ever no what it took for me not to be on a plane to Kentucky Thursday night.  Having said that, clearly there must be a special place in Heaven for mom's like me.  Card carrying, rule following, son loving mom's.  The surgeon recounted the injury and surgery for me.  "On a scale from 1-10 Mrs. Jackman, your son's injury was a 10.  I have never seen a break that severe on someone his age.  I was able to put him back together,
(Humpty Dumpty then came to my mind as I listened closely) with 8 screws and a plate on one side of his ankle and 2 screws on the other side.  He is going to be in quite a lot of pain. At some point during the talk of the hardware he was now the proud owner of, I began to go into the "Freak Out" mode, but only quietly in my brain, because my  voice sounded surprisingly normal and mature and very together.  Kudos to me I was thinking.  The surgeon doesn't even know that I am falling to pieces inside knowing that I am not there.  But my voice was every inch the mature concerned put together mom, that I wasn't.
Now, passing time in the hospital is hard for any of us. But when you are a missionary it is brutal.  There is no magazine reading, no television watching,so that means no Sports Center. No ipod with your ear buds to tune out the world.  And you have to say no every time the elderly volunteer lady comes in with a choice of movies from the cart.  You have only time, and your own company.  Lucky for Brad he had three missionaries with him, who were in the same boat as him as far as making time move quicker.  But they were not without something to do.  When I called to check on him Wednesday morning I said "so what are you up to Elder?" Nothing would have surprised me more than the answer that he gave me. "Well it is raining buckets in Ashland today and so the fabulous four are here in my room, and we are crocheting." Crocheting?  Really....  Apparently Elder Kelsch's mom had taught him to crochet when he was younger, and it was a favorite pastime for him.  He had been teaching the other missionaries how to crochet for some time.  Brad commented that Elder Kelsch was wicked fast at it, and he was just slow at it.  He was hoping to have two baby blankets made for the babies that were on the way in the fall, but now......since he would have to come home, he would probably only get a pot holder done in time. During the whole conversation I was trying desperately to pick myself up off the floor and focus on the whole story.
Once I gained my composure and made sure that he hadn't had too much morophine, I had to say that he was in quite good spirits as he crocheted his morning away with three of his closest friends.  Missions are full of surprises.
Three weeks ago Brad was full of ideas and plans for finishing up his mission in Ashland Kentucky in June.  The little town where his Grandpa Conley was born.  So really he was serving Heavenly Father in the town where he really began. Sort of.  And in the BLINK OF AN EYE, his plans were altered.  He would be coming home 6 weeks early, in wheelchair with crutches.  He would say goodbye to his mission in a much different way than he planned.  But whether he served for 24 months or 22 1/2 months one thing is for sure.  Elder Brad Jackman has been a Fabulous Missionary.  He has served with a happy heart.  He has laughed, he has cried, he has worried and prayed and he has felt joy beyond his wildest dreams.  He has been a leader in Heavenly Fathers valiant army.  He has shared a message that has been around since the Savior himself. Brad has been the mouthpiece, and Heavenly Father has been in the homes of everyone that Brad taught.  Elder Jackman has brought hope to everyone who chose to listen to the message he taught.  And every step of the way he has had his Father in Heaven by his side.  And how do I know this with such sureity?  Well, he let us be a part of his grand adventure, through his letters home.  I felt his spirit every Monday, and I know that he served with everything that he has.  I sent out a young teenager with a belief in the gospel, and I have seen him grow into a valiant man who feels in his heart what he knows in his mind.  A missionary who has suffered through adversity and won.  A missionary who has such a trust in the Lord that he will be led in every way.  And a missionary who is grateful for the opportunity to teach others about the gospel that is his whole life.  Yes, Brad can come home, to heal and to regain his strength.  Because he has done what he went to do.  He has been a desciple.  He Has Made A Difference.

Margi

Blessings....I Count Mine

Snowy Sunday's seem to be the perfect time for me to relax by the fire, and

unwind from the weekend. Having a chance to listen to General Conference

has made this snowy sunday a perfect day.  Generally snowy and perfect

never go hand in hand in my mind.  However today was the exception.

As I listened to the talks, they each seemed to touch a piece of my heart.

As I listened I learned about strength in trials, about the beauty of marriage,

the tender mercies of being a parent, and the thread of each lesson led me

back to my faith in my Heavenly Father. 

I consider myself a reasonably smart person and so why

did I never consider the genius idea of the TO DO list vs. THE BE list.

Elder Robbins shared such great insight on the TO BE list.  It is something

that cannot be checked off at the end of day.  My character, and My

integrity, My very standards, are a life time in the making.  Which gave me

a moment to think, am I who I always wanted to BE?

Is my Heavenly Father proud of who I am today?

Raising children is challenging and rewarding every day.

And I know I was entrusted to not just care for their needs

But to mold their little souls and teach their trusting

minds and hearts the important things, the spiritual things, the eternal things.

I shared with them from a very early age, the importance of

MAKING A DIFFERENCE

everywhere they went. Oh, in the beginning it was a small difference,

but as they grew, I was taught often by them, by the unconditional love they

shared with those around them.  For their unconventional choices when they

could have caved to peer pressure.  And as adults they, and in Ryan and Ally's life, their

wonderful spouses, continue to touch other people's lives, by Who they are and Whose they are.

The Greatest Blessing is that my children know WHOSE they are.

 Because They.... are Heavenly Father's very special children.

That is where my focus lies tonight.  I too must make a difference where ever I

can and for whoever I can.  That is the blessing and the tender mercy of being

a mom, living your life in a way that would make those you love happy to be Yours.

Heavenly Father taught me today, and I will do my best to be a better Me.

Because My Blessings Are Many, And I Must Always Remember To Give Back.

Margi

Living The Dream... Is All About Family

Living My Dream is about Making The Most of every day.

Its about the man that I married.  He is my best friend who

I plan to grow old with.  My Dream includes His Dreams.

He holds me together when life has threatened to shatter me.

He laughs at me and with me.

He holds my heart and my hand with a gentle strength. 

He loves me no matter what.  With or Without my sense

of humor.  He loves me for who I am and for who I am

trying to become.  He inspires me and he makes me crazy.

He is my joy, my success, my partner, my friend, my other half.

Living My Dream is walking that meandering pathway of life with him.

That pathway has taken us to places we never imagined.

Our pathway that led to parenthood is one that we have walked

for almost 26 years now.  Where did the time go?

Our three children are the Greatest Things We Have Ever Done

Ryan and Ally and Brad!

We have experienced colic, potty training, nap time and bedtime.
Living My Dream opened doors to pre-school, elementary school,

PTA and Room Mother.

Skinned knees, tender feelings, and our family dog.

My dream has brought me Happiness that is almost Magical.

Sorrows that have crashed in on me as powerful waves.

And that same dream has given me an inner strength that helps me to

rise again when it is difficult to stand.

I have learned over the years that...

 Trials are a for sure thing, but Misery is Optional

I have seen....

 High School, and Proms.

Dance and Lacrosse.  First Love's and Broken Hearts

All through the eyes of their mom.

Living my dream has meant late night talks, noise, shopping sprees,

cell phones, parent teacher conferences and acne.

Graduation, college, missions, and weddings.

My life with Tom is quieter now, and even a little slower.

But my Dream has taught me to love, and to share and to sacrifice.

I have more hope and more faith and more peace because of my family.

My children are my greatest friends, my greatest fans, and my greatest blessings.

Up to now, My Dreams Have All Come True....

And the Living Continues....Grandbabies on the way.