Confessions of a Grandma To Be.....

Okay....So I consider myself to be a very mature intelligent forty something woman.  I don't know what has happened to me in the last month however.  My normal somewhat controlled personality has deserted me, and in the most inopportune places.  The Target Baby Aisle....Any Baby Aisle for that matter.  Who even knew that Kohls had baby clothes. I for one have never even been to that geographical location of the store.
As you know, I am going to be the Grandma of two darling, highly above average, take your breath away little girls. For Heavens Sakes, that is a huge responsibility.  One that seems to have me thinking in PINK, RUFFLES AND TUTU'S.
I had heard about the this FABULOUS GRANDMA PHENOMENON, but one must experience it, to truly understrand how very mind altering it can become.  Just the other day I was in Target, minding my own business walking away from the Rubbermaid aisle, when out of no where the PINK POLKA DOT shorts with the matching frilly shirt just screamed my name and like a magnet I was checking for a 6-9 months size.  You see my sweet grandbabies wont be born until the Fall.  Once I had two of the correct size in hand, I found myself searching for the perfect little sandals to complete the ensemble.  And wouldn't you know it, I found the shoes, hairbows, and a light POLKA DOT SWEATER just in case it's a cool summer evening.
This whole time I am thinking, "Oh my goodness, I am in need of a basket!" because I look down and I am also carrying Lavendar Baby Wash, Lotion and Oil, to help them get a good nights sleep and smell yummy all at the same time.  And did you know that the bath towels for babies must arrive directly from the baby spa?
This has to stop before I get to the aisle with the swings, and other extraordinary baby loungers and such, I drive a compact car after all.
Never before have I had to fight off invisible arms that reach for me from shelves displaying the sweetest little onesies, and sockies and binkies.  And who invented those darling BLINGY binkey holders?  It must have been a GRANDMA TO BE.  Yes, that is the only explanation for them.
I find myself in a bit of pickle you see, because how am I to dodge all of the Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice?  I fear that I am doomed to be the CRAZY GRANDMA after all.  Because I Am CRAZY about all  of this PINK PARAPHENALIA that is coming at me from every angle.  I may not have the inner strength to dodge the diapers bags, and car seat covers, the bumper pads and vibrating chairs.  The bonnets and bows are my down fall.  And the shoes.....well it has always been all about the shoes.
My Name Is Margi Jackman, and I am about to be a GRANDMA!!!!!!

UNPACKING

The only sure thing about traveling, and returning home is that you will always have to unpack. 

 We all do that differently I am thinking.  Some people are over achievers by nature and have

their suitcases unpacked and their laundry going before they even check their mail.

Others need a little time to regroup from their travels before they attack the bags.

While still others are stepping over their bags a week after they have returned home because

they can't bear to face the sorting and laundry and the chaos that is unpacking.

Me, well I am a little bit of all three.  The big stuff gets done rather quickly, but it is up to

a week before all the souvaniers and gift bags are even opened and find a home.

I don't really like Big Clutter, but Little Clutter, I seem to be quite comfortable with.

This past weekend I did some unpacking.  It is very different when you are doing it for someone else.

You see, I haven't left home in awhile.  But when I do, I am not really a light packer.  Shoes seem

to be my downfall, Somehow they always take up enough room that I need two bags for where ever I am headed. I did unpack two bags this weekend.  And I learned so much in the process. 

We think that we really know our children, and we do.  But when we unpack their bags, it is a little window into who they really are.  And what is important to them.

Elder Jackman got off that plane on April 29th and everything he owned fit into two suitcases and one

carry on.  For two years his life fit into those bags.  Sometimes I am sure the fit was tighter than others. Especially after  I had sent him a George Foreman Grill shortly after he left.  That is a story to be blogged later.   Each one of his bags was full, mostly of white shirts, ties, black socks and even an extra suit.

WHITE shirts is really being very optimistic.  I am sure there was a time when they passed for WHITE.  As I pulled them out they were more in the area of gray/white on the color wheel.  But what I noticed most was

that they were worn.  And it dawned on me how very grateful I was that they were worn and thread bare.  That meant that Brad had used them up as he represented his Heavenly Father every day of his mission.

His shirts, his shoes, his ties....they were all tired.  And tired missionary clothes were part of a very busy missionary.  My insight into the type of missionary Brad was, became sharper.  It all became clearer.  This doesn't come through in an email.  Unpacking is a gift given to a missionary mom.

There in the corner of his second bag was one pair of jeans, a pair of shorts and 3 t-shirts.  The sum of his civilian clothes as he called them.  It was odd knowing that he had so few regular clothes, when I knew his closet at home rivaled any department store.  Another insight into Brads focus and purpose the past two years.  There is a time and a place for fashion and wardrobe, and the last two years was not that time or place for designer names.  It was a time for dark suits, black socks, sturdy shoes, white shirts, a variety of ties, and a name tag.  It was a time of travel for sure.  Mostly walking from place to place, regardless of the weather outside.  The walking produced holes in the soles of Brad's sturdy shoes, and it left footprints on his heart, and the hearts of those he grew to love.  Known only as Elder Jackman to those he taught, a young man on a mission to change the world one lesson, and one testimony at a time.  Striving every day to make a difference in a very unpredictable world.

So as to not be totally on my own while his whole life was being unpacked and put away, Brad supervised my efforts with a keen eye.  There were pictures of people and places dear to his heart, that required a safe place.  His Preach My Gospel book was tattered and worn.  Another window opening to me as I looked in and saw who he was as Elder Jackman. 

What I really unpacked that day were memories that Brad will always handle carefully. I glimpsed in those moments, what he really brought home with him.  Yes, there were the clothes that had seen better days.  There were books and a few gifts he had received.  But tucked in around all the material things, were the things that Elder Jackman brought back.  He brought home a testimony that will carry him through his life.  He packed up experiences that changed who he was.  He brought home a heart that was now full of charity, understanding, tolerance and patience.  Gratitude was packed along side of Empathy. The souviners are the people who made a difference in his life, as he strived to make a difference in theirs.  Most of what Brad brought home, was packed deep inside of his heart.  And he can unpack that anytime he wants and find himself back on his West Virgina mission. He will always be able to travel back in his heart. The man that came home in Elder Jackman's well worn shoes, is a man grateful for the opportunity to serve his Heavenly Father.  His suitcases are unpacked, but his experiences are far from being put away.

Welcome Home Brad.